Pillow Talk
by Teaspooned
Summary: Is it narcissism if you think your own twin brother is beautiful?


a/n: lmao okay, um, my last fanfic was from about 3 years ago, and looking back on my first fic and then this one...i could safely say that my writing's changed, haha. uwu

* * *

They had separate rooms, but what was the point of a _queen sized bed_ if you had to sleep alone in it?

Presently, that is the exact issue that they are remedying – or, at least, that's what Hikaru likes to think. Maybe it's only him; after all, Kaoru supposedly only crawls into his bed at night because he "looks lonely." (It's a bunch of bull, really, because Kaoru's the one who clings to him like a leech, and if Hikaru likes to cuddle, surely that means his twin does too, and surely that means Kaoru genuinely likes their sleeping arrangement. It's infallible logic.)

The leech in question shifts at his side, and Hikaru's eyes open an increment wider when he feels Kaoru press closer to him. He cranes his head to check the window; the parted curtains reveal a lightening sky, so he figures they're not too far from morning.

Hikaru blinks. It's rare for him to wake first, much less this _early_.

Another movement catches his attention; Kaoru has decided to curl up even closer. The younger's eyebrows have twitched downwards, as if he doesn't approve of Hikaru's attention on something else.

By instinct, Hikaru throws a hapless arm around him. It's a natural position that they fall into, and Hikaru blames it on the fact that their "brotherly love" acts often end with Kaoru in his arms, but whatever. He likes it, likes the fuzzy feelings it creates.

His gaze wanders down to Kaoru. It's still not fully morning, but there's enough light for him to tell that one, Kaoru was drooling into his pillow (ew), and two, Kaoru is actually kind of–

– cute.

Hikaru raises an eyebrow, as if Kaoru could receive his bemused expression.

Hm. Well, _that_ was a thought.

It isn't that he's never considered his brother attractive before, but his logic had always gone along the lines of: _I'm pretty good looking. Oh, and since Kaoru's my twin, so that means he's good looking too. _

They do look alike, but at the same time – they…don't? Hikaru tries to find a better way to describe this, and then realizes that he's actually trying to think before six a.m. in the morning.

He studies his twin, brushing aside notions that his intense staring is creepy.

Kaoru seems…softer, somehow. Even though their faces are identical, Hikaru has looked into a mirror and at his twin enough times to realize that while Kaoru can certainly look as mischievous as him, the younger Hitachiin is able to adopt gentler expressions more readily. He does it more suitably, too, if the adoring fans of their acts are any proof.

Kaoru seems more feminine to him. His eyelashes look a little longer and whenever they're changing together, Hikaru notices a type of slenderness in Kaoru's body that he can't find on his own, which absolutely boggles his mind.

It's almost like being tickled, he thinks on a whim. He can run his fingers over his own stomach and feet and not feel a single thing, but god forbid that anyone _else_ do it.

Maybe he can't notice these things on himself, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't be on Kaoru.

Hikaru lifts one of Kaoru's hands and compares it side by side with his. He makes sure there's no sign of Kaoru waking, because it would be a little awkward to explain why he's holding both of their hands up to the ceiling.

A few seconds later, he lowers their hands, suspicions confirmed. Even Kaoru's fingers looked more delicate.

It's also in the way Kaoru acts. Hikaru doesn't deny that he's the more collected one between them and possibly the more rational. Whereas Hikaru isn't afraid to speak what is on his mind, he always senses a pause before most of Kaoru's actions, like he's considering all the outcomes first.

Their voices are different too, or so Hikaru has been told. Apparently it's subtle, but there: his is a little bit bolder and Kaoru's is a little bit quieter. (He remembers a girl once commenting that Kaoru even sounded a little _raspy_. She'd proceeded to ask if that was because Kaoru did all the screaming, whatever that meant.)

Satisfied with his analyses, Hikaru declares – in his mind, of course – that his little brother is beautiful.

Wait– what?

He casts an affronted stare at Kaoru, as if it's his fault.

_Isn't that what I thought in the first place?_ Hikaru thinks, struggling to remember. _I somehow started thinking about how my brother was beautiful, and it was such a weird thought that I started thinking of ways to justify it so it didn't make me sound so…creepy! Yes, that's it. _

He isn't sure about that, but it's the best excuse he can find for now.

Although, how did that even work? Finding his own _twin_ brother beautiful – did that make him a narcissist?

Hikaru recalls a myth he read in class, one about a man who was so full of himself that he spent all day staring at his own reflection.

Is that what he was? A narcissist?

Hikaru narrows his eyes at Kaoru, still sleeping and still oblivious to his older brother's turmoil.

Didn't that guy in the myth end up turning into a flower or something?

Hikaru jolts, eyes flying wide open now; this was becoming a serious issue! He didn't want to become a flower!

"Hikaru?" the voice brings him down from his panic. Hikaru must have startled him awake. His brother's voice is muddled with sleep and slightly slurred. "Stop…moving so much…"

"_You_ stop!" Hikaru wants to shout at him. "Stop making me a narcissist, you fiend!"

But he thinks that will only earn him a strange look (or, at worst, a hit to the head), so he chuckles nervously and says, "Sorry."

Kaoru grumbles something about a flower.

"What?" Hikaru demands, his voice rising higher in pitch: "Flower? I'm not a flower. Don't call me that, what are you talking about?"

"Hikaru," Kaoru drags out the syllables in his name. "I asked you why you're awake at this hour."

"Right," Hikaru says, disbelieving. He brings Kaoru in closer, contrary to his tone.

"_Right_," Kaoru repeats firmly. "Now go back to sleep."

He resumes his earlier position with a content sigh, and Hikaru gulps at how serene he looks. And tempting. Very, very tempting.

For the next few minutes, he alternates between staring at Kaoru's face and at the window.

"Kaoru?" he finally ventures, wondering if Kaoru has fallen back asleep yet.

The muffled, "What's it now?" indicates otherwise.

"Um." Hikaru takes a deep breath, thinks of flowers, and blurts: "I think you're beautiful."

The reaction is not as instantaneous as he would've thought. Instead, his brother slowly opens his eyes and looks at him. Hikaru can't quite name the emotions flickering across Kaoru's features, but he _can_ tell that thankfully, there is no repulsion or disgust or _Hikaru-that's-so-creepy._

Kaoru hikes a leg over his, and Hikaru allows this as he waits for the words that will reassure him that he won't suffer the fate of turning into a flower. Kaoru only closes his eyes and sighs again, and now there is a small smile forming on his lips.

_Is that a good thing?_

Hikaru continues to wait with baited breath, his life as a photosynthetic organism flashing before his very eyes, and just when he's starting to think that the smile _is_ a good thing, his twin snuggles in closer and mutters, "Narcissist."


End file.
